May 2011
13 posts
“In The Crucible, Abigail Williams was caught doing dances and calling on the...”
– Actual line from a student’s paper. Ah yes, the Winston-Salem Witch Trials…
April 2011
7 posts
“Wait. What do emus eat? I need to know. We’re trying to catch one.”
– Urgent question from a student in the middle of class today…
Cah-Ray-Zee
This is what happens when my first [stalkertastic] former student decides to go to William and Mary (!!): Facebook Message on April 20th, 9:00pm: “OMG, Ms. T! So Facebook had this little button thing to add people on facebook from W&M who you might know…and guess who popped up! Looks like it was meant to be! Oh, also, just to let you know, I am going to William & Mary next...
Lewd Art Show in Room 303
Today after school, as I leisurely sauntered into the mailroom to check my box, one of the assistant principals frantically beckoned me into her office, holding several rolled up posters. “Are you in charge of the Pennies for Patients kids?” [Why yes, I am in fact sponsoring several clubs due to strategic coercion by manipulative seventeen-year olds coupled with my inability to say no]...
On Raising 146* Teenagers
Dear Parents, I have 146 students. You have 1. Maybe 2. Perhaps 3. But still. Please explain to me why I am supposed to take on your role, and monitor your child’s homework, study skills, behavior, and general character. Sincerely, Laura *147. I got another new student today.
The WashINGton Post
Dear Washington Post, For the past three years, I have been annoyed and perplexed by your radio ads on Hot 99.5. You summarize what stories readers can find in each week’s Sunday Post, and then you end with your slogan: “If you don’t get it, you don’t get it.” BUT YOU ALWAYS PUT THE EMPHASIS ON THE WRONG WORD. Linguistically, you don’t seem to understand the...
